So I partook in Hell’s Kitchen Pongapalooza last night, vying for a chance to win a trip to Vegas and a shot at $50,000 in the… uh… Nationals? Finals? I don’t know. Whatever you’d call the ultimate beer pong championship.
Three tables were set up alongside each other. It looked like an old World War II propaganda movie with the volleys going back and forth, bodies strewn across the floor to chase the rolling plastic balls. Mayhem.
I posted a few messages via my seldom-used Twitter feed, and if it wasn’t for a horrible cold streak in a game we were winning against a team called Hot Towels (At one point, we had one cup left to their six.), I’m pretty sure Pepperjack Dynamite would be going to Sin City.
Among my many excuses for losing, I will blame Rosie, the British waitress, for coercing us into a lot of happy hour Guinness.
It got heated a few times throughout the night, and the organizers from the World Beer Pong Tour were anything but organized at the get-go. There were issues with the rules and a fight nearly broke out over Team Bi-Curoius’s shameless lean over the table. The embarrassing move, which prompted a lot women in the bar to verbally abuse these guys and their manhood, was deemed acceptable after a phone call to the beer pong headquarters. The entire bar turned against that team, chanting “Assssssshole, assssssshole” every time they touched their balls. (Maybe that didn’t come out right…) Some dude broke out a cowbell of all things and clanged in their ears before they took their shots. I’ve never seen such savagery over beer pong villains. It was hilarious.
I left after we were eliminated, so I don’t know who won, but of the 30+ teams in the tournament, we didn’t put on a horrible showing, stringing a few wins together after dropping a heartbreaking opening game by a single Solo cup to a team that hit nearly every shot. We ultimately bowed out to Hot Towels after blowing that 6-1 lead.
I was playing with the new Droid phone. There's no other reason for this pic other than to say the new Droid phone is pretty effing cool. No one's even paying me to say that!
If it wasn’t for some meathead busboy trying to fight my friend for laughing when he dropped and broke a pint, it would have been a great night. I’ll be the first to admit my friend shouldn’t have antagonized the guy, but if I ever went to work and threatened a customer, my ass would be out the door so fast that my next job would probably be something like… bussing… tables… ohhh.
November 25th, 2009 at 11:44 am
NICE…. I’m sure it was worth the laughs to bad you didn’t win.
November 25th, 2009 at 12:51 pm
Team Bi-Curious, Team Hot Towels… What was your team’s name Quade?
November 25th, 2009 at 12:55 pm
I once saw these people playing vodka pong in a lounge. They were crazy people.
November 25th, 2009 at 1:18 pm
We were Pepperjack Dynamite. It’s the spiciest cheese this side of El Paso. My original partner bailed on me though. Some BS lie about an appendectomy or something. I think he was afraid of not being as good as he said he was. My replacement partner wasn’t great, but he carried as at the end when the Guinness clouded my hyper-sonar senses, preventing me from slam dunking cups left and right.
Vodka Pong?!?! That sounds like a level of craziness exhibited only by unemployed middle aged men who live with their parents and have bleached blonde hair.
November 25th, 2009 at 1:33 pm
Hey Ian congrats on this!
November 26th, 2009 at 9:10 am
Love the team name… “Pepperjack Dynamite.” Make me a shirt for Christmas with that on it.
November 26th, 2009 at 11:55 am
I know for a fact the only time you have ever been good at Beirut is when you broke your hand in college and had to throw up those goat-ugly shots with a cast on. It must have been God feeling pity for you because they all went in every time, but other than that, Quade, you know you are not good at this game.
November 29th, 2009 at 2:01 pm
I am addicted to my Droid phone, too!
November 30th, 2009 at 2:08 pm
i don’t like the leaning rule they implement total hogwash. Hand behind the table end of story.